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On Patrick: On Andrew left: Opening Ceremony T shirt. On Alika right: Sacai dress. Gauntlet Cheng Sweater. On Daniel: Black Eye Patch shorts. Cleis Press. Wat, Eric C. Making of a Gay Asian Community: Rowman and Littlefield. It captures many of the obstacles and challenges that LGBT Asian Americans go through as they search for acceptance and happiness with the multiple forms of their personal identities. Nineteen-year-old Eric Aquino remembers a day not that long ago when he kneeled down to tie his shoe during P.
He looked up to find a boy towering over him, saying, "That's where you belong" and making a comment about oral sex. One thing I always did was ignore it. While feelings of rejection and questions about "being normal" haunt most adolescents, they often hit harder at those who are minorities, either racial or sexual. And too often, those are the kids who get the least support. A study from the Department of Health and Human Services found that a gay teen who comes out to his or her parents faced about a chance of being rejected and 1 in 4 had to leave home.
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Ten years later, a study in The Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine found that gay and bisexual teens are more than three times as likely to attempt suicide as other youths. Surveys indicate that 80 percent of gay students do not feel safe in schools, and one poll by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention showed 1 in 13 high school students had been attacked or harassed because they were perceived to be homosexual.
Nationwide, 18 percent of all gay students are physically injured to the point they require medical treatment, and they are seven times as likely as their straight peers to be threatened with a weapon at school, according to the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network. Protecting homosexual Asian teens from discrimination requires double-duty measures, advocates say. And there is nothing to adequately protect them. As Kwok and thousands of others might attest, to be young, gay and APA is to simultaneously confront the ugly specters of barriers and discrimination that come with being gay in America and those that come with being Asian in America.
But if the often quoted figure of 10 percent of a population holds, the figure could exceed 1, in the public junior high and high schools alone. Asian American students, says Jang, account for about 90 percent of the kids she sees through the district's Support Services for Sexual Minorities Youth Program. Though there are more support groups for gay youths than ever before, Virtucio said many Asian American teens find it difficult to fit in.
Nor do they have any role models. They need to see people like them. Even if it's just serving rice, they need something familiar so they could [relate] and feel like they could be part of this community," says Virtucio, who touts her four-year-old group as "a channel to come out. Though the group initially attracted mostly college-age men, most of its members today are younger, and half are female. At a recent get-together, the girls seemed much less vocal than boys, and though several young men agreed to be interviewed, no girls did.
Jang explains that girls are more likely than boys to refrain from expressing their sexuality, possibly because of the shame they think they may bring on themselves and their families. One girl, she recalled, fell in love with her godsister and wanted to tell her, but she was afraid that if she did, everyone in Chinatown would find out.
For both genders, though, coming out to family and friends is a huge issue, one that Virtucio says cannot be put off indefinitely. Mothers, she said, might ask daughters questions like, "Why to you dress that way? Wear a skirt. Each family member often is expected to fill an explicit role.
For example, she explained, a Filipina, particularly the first-born daughter, "is supposed to take care of the family, and get married and have kids. He is supposed to extend the family name. Desmond Kwok says his parents accept his sexual orientation -- though they don't necessarily support him emotionally. He acknowledges an ongoing "starvation for love" that he blames on his parents. Both have been distant, he says, especially his father, a businessman who lives in Chicago.
Kwok says he found support for coming out not from his family, but from a gang he was in two years ago. We'll kick their asses. Now, Kwok dates "older" Asian and Asian American men -- at least 19 -- because few come out before then, he says. He admits that he has tried to find boyfriends over the Internet, at bars and cafes, "the worst places to meet a good boyfriend.
A graduate of the School of the Arts, a magnet academy, Kwok said he intends to continue his work as an advocate for gay Asian and Asian American teens. Yet even now he cannot rid "the feeling of being alone -- being around people who really love you, but still knowing they are heterosexual.
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They'll be with their girlfriends or boyfriends, and here I am all alone, sitting around, boo-hoo, no boyfriend. Eric Aquino never had such peer support growing up in Vallejo, Calif. He avoided his locker, where the popular kids hung out, and instead took long, circuitous paths to classes to dodge their cruel comments. Do you suck dick? I looked at the clock until it was 3 o'clock and time to go. Aquino's high school years were both the happiest and one of the most depressing times of his life. He joined marching band and had friends for the first time, but he also started feeling that he was, in fact, gay.
Aquino thought perhaps he should wait until he was 18 to come out, so that if his parents rejected him, he could run away. He also considered living in the closet and spent much of his time thinking of ways to keep his secret. Like, I'll get married and have kids, [then divorce] and be a single parent, and my parents would just think I never found love again. Ofie Virtucio, 21, can relate to the feeling of isolation.
Of course I was lonely. She looked me in the eyes; she was worried," Virtucio said. I still love you, Ofie.